Mira Rajput’s statement during an event on International Women’s Day has created a lot of Hullabaloo both on the television channels and feminists comments.
Rajput said she is a proud homemaker and would be a stay-at-home mother for her daughter Misha because her kid isn’t a “puppy” with whom she can spend an hour and rush off for work. The jarring statement uttered by Rajput felt like punches on the senses, conscience and sensibility of many independent women and working mothers.
Feminism means the right to equality, the right to choose and if Rajput is happy being a homemaker, no one is liable to question her choice but shaming working women in such a passive aggressive manner because they have a different viewpoint, is quite irritating. Wow, Mrs Mira Rajput. Did you really need all this publicity? A housewife and doting mother, talking down others hard work and professional success? Rajput herself has been judged too when she planned to settle down with a star at such a young age instead of pursuing a career. It’s surprising that she still feels the need to judge other mothers.
It’s a mother’s choice whether she wants to work or stay at home. No matter what the choice of a mother is, the child is never a puppy and can not/should not be compared to one ever. It is an offence to puppies, women and babies, all in the same breath.
There is absolutely nothing wrong or demeaning in choosing to be a homemaker. But when Rajput sounded giving priority to be a homemaker she totally neglected the fact that she was born with platinum spoons in her mouth and went to settle with someone having diamond-encrusted nest eggs. Had she been the homemaker of an average earning home, known the financial struggles of running a family, or had her dreams crushed on as a young, middle-class mother/housewife, these opinions would’ve suited her.
Women who choose to work and enjoy their professional success are not necessarily only focused towards their career. Either by choice or by necessity, they have a tough time juggling between both work and home but they do take care of their kids and NO, their children are not puppies to them.
The working mothers sacrifice a lot but they do not neglect their kids for their work. Though some do not afford the luxury, the children of working mothers turn out just fine, in fact, they grow to be more independent and confident, thanks to their mothers who encouraged them to not rely on their parents every time and take decisions for themselves. They are born to fierce women who give them the courage to fight situations. Such kids grow up to be strong because they have seen their mother surviving through all the odds and still taking care of them.
Working women prioritise their life as per their own preferences. They make a choice of being a working woman and still raising their kid. They make a choice of helping their husband; financially, emotionally. I’m sure it breaks their heart every time they come home from work and their kids run to them. I’m sure it tears them apart every time they desperately wanted to shower their kids with presents but can’t. But at the end of the struggle, they teach their kids to be strong because they don’t have the luxury to leave their work and still live a beautiful life.
It’s not that a woman with necessities only steps out after leaving their kids. Many well to do women do this today not because of materialistic greed but because they love their work, titles, identity and financial independence in the broader adult world, more so because they want to give their kids a strong and bright future, where will remain strong through all the odds faced because they have seen their mothers as their role models succeeding through all the problems both at work and home. At a young age, they get to know the reality of the world and realise that life is not a bed of roses.
Every woman makes a choice based on her special circumstances and her own life, every woman has her own wishes and knows what is best for her family. And then there are also those who are not as fortunate enough to even make the choice they want to. Some have to go to work while others have to stay back at home but all these women are great mothers.
In the same interview, Rajput later went on to shame probably all women who ask for their rights and are fobbed off as aggressive, demanding and even playing the ‘victim card’. At the event, she focused on the changing tone of feminism and how it is just becoming the female counterpart of male chauvinism. “The new wave of feminism is aggressive and destructive.” She also said that she’s heard of a new term called “feminazi”.
Rajput failed to understand that this “new wave of feminism” has brought an awareness of the term ‘equality’ along with it, done so much good both for men and women. Women are walking with men, shoulder to shoulder, in fields that were dominated by men.
A stay at home mother is rapped for having it too easy, a woman who goes out to work is criticised for focussing on career and not home, a woman who is single is constantly reminded about biological clock whose tick-tock can apparently give time bombs a run for their money and getting married ‘too early’ means you have zero interest in making something out of yourself. This unending cycle of criticism is just one of the reasons why we need Feminism. All the generations of women who struggled before us are the reason why we even celebrate a Women’s Day or have the right to stand on a stage and give voice to our thoughts or vote or work or can follow our dreams. They were dismissed as bra-burners back in the day. Now, we are tagged as Feminazi. Terms may change but the need for this struggle has not.
“I feel there should be a harmony between the two sexes. If either one of them tries to take the place of other, there will be chaos.” So, does Mrs Mira Rajput tend to indicate that defined gendered roles shouldn’t be challenged? Is she trying to say that if a woman takes the place of earning money and a man choosing to stay at home, lives would be chaotic?
Well, Mrs Rajput, not only have you been too young for marriage but also for feminism. You have a long way to go and understand what feminism is. Till then we wish you happy homemaker’s life. We also hope you keep enjoying the freedom to express your opinion, to have an education, and enjoy the benefits of motherhood that “aggressive feminists” fought once to win for you.